After some improvements to the dialogue and the jokes to the Finch character this is what my script is like and what I think I will be running with, until I receive my final feedback from Claire about the technical terms. I defiantly want the Finch to be an unlikable character and narrator in the animation, so I have tried to make his jokes mean spirited, while also staying in the 14-15 age bracket and blend them in with some of the teaching. I am going to make a rough storyboard for this just to lay out how the animation will play out and then compose my shots and music in a Pre-Viz to see how my models will play out.

 This is my first script for my Fantastic Voyage project on Evolution and Variation. I have tried to keep the script short and the story to the point in hopes of bulking up what I have here, rather than trying to shorten down a bigger story like what occurred in Script to Screen. I have tried to base my story in the same style as games like Animal Crossing or Pokemon Mystery Dungeon in terms of layout, so sections in the script for GAMEPLAY will mean that the style of the story will shift more to a gaming style, compared to a CUT SCENE, that will play out more in the style of a traditional animated story. This is because I want my project to lean more on Lets Play videos on Youtube, so the style of the story I want to take inspiration from Story based games like Animal Crossing, but still have a core story and plot to them. I feel the script might need some more tweaking, especially near the end, but I want some feedback first to see if the main story is okay while I start...

First draft of my script. I'm still worried it might be a bit too big, so some feedback on the length of the script would be appreciated as well as feedback on the plot again.