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After a conversation and some more thought I have finally managed to narrow down the mind maps into two story ideas that I think I can work with. I'm happy that I managed to draw away from the setting being in a prison that I felt made the idea feel generic and easy, whereas with these ideas I feel I can manipulate the layout or the tone to see how it effects the final piece, although I still have a way to go with characters, conflict, story layout and ending. Feedback is still appreciated.
Yep - this feels more unpacked now; I would say the final paragraph seems a little long and also it's directed at the audience as opposed to the tortoise, which is the first time in your script the Finch breaks the 4th wall; maybe the finch should just continue 'teaching' the tortoise - or maybe consider having the finch talk directly to the audience earlier so it's part of what you've got going on?
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