Alien and Monstrous Feminine.
Alien and Monstrous Feminine by Odette on Scribd
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This is my first script for my Fantastic Voyage project on Evolution and Variation. I have tried to keep the script short and the story to the point in hopes of bulking up what I have here, rather than trying to shorten down a bigger story like what occurred in Script to Screen. I have tried to base my story in the same style as games like Animal Crossing or Pokemon Mystery Dungeon in terms of layout, so sections in the script for GAMEPLAY will mean that the style of the story will shift more to a gaming style, compared to a CUT SCENE, that will play out more in the style of a traditional animated story. This is because I want my project to lean more on Lets Play videos on Youtube, so the style of the story I want to take inspiration from Story based games like Animal Crossing, but still have a core story and plot to them. I feel the script might need some more tweaking, especially near the end, but I want some feedback first to see if the main story is okay while I start...
Hey Odette - okay, so you've got the start of a Thesis here! What's satisfying here is the proactive and creative application of theory to your subject and the real sense of enthusiasm and 'sparking' that comes from your writing... BUT, there are issues of form and structure you need to take on board in terms of refining the delivery mechanism of your ideas; you need to ask yourself this question always: 'What does the reader need?' This analysis presumes a lot of prior information - it assumes the reader is already familiar with the architecture of Freud's ideas (which you use, but do not introduce or define); it presumes the reader is familiar with the story of Alien (there is no story synopsis, you see...); it presumes we're familiar with the ideas of Laura Mulvey (who isn't introduced) and so on. In terms of planning your written assignments, you need to ask yourself what the reader is going to need from you in order to follow your argument effortlessly. The ability to think like the uninitiated reader is KEY to determining effective structures for successful assignments. You also need to proof-read for grammatical stuff - lots of missing possessive apostrophes in here (so 'Mother's' as opposed to Mothers etc).
ReplyDeleteShort version - there's an imbalance here between high-performance theoretical creativity (great!) and coherence and concept-initiation. Put simply, you need to plan before you write in order to more fully capture the sophistication of what you're trying to argue. Onwards!